Yesterday was a Monday. I woke up trying to get the mindset that was positive and one to conquer the day. I had a senior session at 8am that morning, so I got on my merry way. It was HOT! Yesterday was one of the hottest days that we've had for awhile. I just kept going from session to session until I finally got finished at 8pm. I think that was the most I've done on a weekday, physically shooting pictures for 8 hours, let alone the hours of returning emails, calls, placing orders and editing a bit. On top of that I substitute teach at Novinger as well, which I really enjoy. I did that today. I woke up this morning before school and returned a few emails, only to get completely overwhelmed before I even started my day. I still had orders that should've been out last week sitting in my office waiting for me to sort them and package them. I headed to town leaving my work behind and left a little early to grab some of my favorite coffee--white chocolate mocha from Starbucks :) On the way, I was listening to Spirit FM as usual, when they brought up a contest to win a family pack of tickets to go see Mark Lowry in Columbia. I never call in to contests. So, I listened as the host was going to "hum" a song and someone had to guess what she was humming (rather do-do-doing). They got a guy on the line and he just said he had no idea what she was singing. I knew right away, one of the best songs by Casting Crowns. They went to the next caller and she guessed but also got it incorrect. I decided to take a chance and call. First time was busy and the second time it rang twice and then I heard "Do you know what it is??" I said "The voice of truth!" I was right and I won. It was the best feeling. I had really wanted to see Mark live but didn't think it would work out to go so I just didn't think any more about it. Now I get to go with my family and Justin actually has the night off to go too! Isn't it crazy how God ALWAYS knows what we need in just the right moment? I was even talking to Him on the way to school asking him to give me a better attitude about the day. I was weary and wondering when there would be a light and a break. Well, he provided us with a chance to have some fun and laugh with the comedian in the midst of the chaos. I'm so excited and so thankful that God always knows what we need. It just happened to be that I got in the car early to go get coffee that morning. Normally I wouldn't be out the door for another ten minutes.
I was having a great day then a few things here and there kinda tore me down again. You know, life is a roller coaster. I try to hard to keep the peace and keep everyone happy. It really is one of my main goals in life. There's just some days where I really wonder if what I'm doing makes a difference and if I'm doing the right thing. There's so many people that are better than I am at photography, and when I get so overwhelmed, I wonder how just me by myself can handle all of this anymore. It's becoming a large load to take on. I know it's just the busy season and it's like this every year but when I get so worn down or if someone is unhappy, doubt fills my mind and I just get down on myself and wonder if I'm good enough. I know, I know, it's just Satan filling me with lies because I'm letting him....but once again, it's the little things that God turns around and brings someone/something in at JUST the right time when we need it. I checked my messages just a little bit ago in the midst of catching up on work and someone wrote this message to me just because.
Emily, I just HAVE to tell you......you are such a gifted lady. I'm not going to say gifted photographer....thats labeling.....you are a gifted woman who photographs....and photographs STUNNING photo's....constantly! I just thought you should know that. Hope your having a good day
I keep an encouragement wall up right above my computer. Just random notes people put in with their payments, or cards I have gotten, etc. The compliments mean the world to me and keep me going!
Guys, these aren't just "fluke" things. God has opened my eyes many times today! He ALWAYS provides and loves us so much! I know there's a few rough weeks ahead of me, and you may be going through the same thing. Whether it be work, school, family, etc. We are busy people. It's overwhelming but we HAVE to take it one day at a time. It will get done and we need to open our eyes to the good. God has given us another day to live and breathe and make a difference.
Just on a random note, no matter how incredibly tired I may be from the day, I absolutely love my job and I have the say the best part is meeting people. I have met some incredible people that I call friends now. I get the opportunity to meet and get to know new people every day. My main priority lately is just to have fun. I want everyone to feel completely comfortable and at home while having FUN! Pictures are much more enjoyable that way. I really hope that people see their experience with me as fun, it's really what it should be!
On another random note, sometimes I get the opportunity to share parts of my life with people. Sometimes they don't believe what a conservative life I lead, especially during the high school years, just simply because I can be fun and have a great time just being who I am. All I can think about today is that some of the reason that I am who I am and why I didn't date tons throughout HS (which is typical, and I see it all of the time at school) has everything to do with my past and what makes my story. I am me because of what I have gone through. (even though my parents had a lot to do with it too, but don't worry mom (and dad), I thank you now for your good judgement and keeping me from making some bad decisions! ;) No matter how "rough" that part of my life was, it has made me who I am today and I feel like God will use that story to help someone else someday if I allow him to open my heart up to it. I may not be understood, but just know that there's a story behind everyone and why they are the way they are. We can choose to take our rough parts and use them for GOOD (with God's help of course), or let them ruin us.
I know that was a lot of random-ness in a post, and I would update you on all that has happened lately but I just really need to get back to work and catching up before my four sessions again tomorrow. Can't get too behind! Back to work on some pretty faces!! :)
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