Praise You in this Storm

Hello everyone.  I thought this would be the perfect time to write.  I have a lot in my head right now but  we'll see if it all comes together.  I actually have a spare moment to write today and I feel like I need to explain some things.  Many of you I'm sure have seen my statuses on facebook this week--which I hope weren't to hopeless and negative sounding.  I tried to make them sound like I still have my hope, which I do.  It's just been a miserably rough week.  BUT, it could be so much worse and I'm still extremely thankful as I'm trying to see the reasoning and good behind the situation.

Saturday I had my mini sessions and those went really well!  It was cold, and my mom and I started at 8 in the morning and were out there until 5.  I was on the verge of being sick earlier that week but after being in the wind and cold on Saturday it really got me, unfortunately.  One of those things that are just hard to avoid.  I really enjoyed Saturday though.  We had a different family every 15-20 minutes that day with just a break for lunch.  I also had two regular sessions in between that were reschedules from weather.  Most of the families that day were regular clients and I really enjoyed every minute of seeing them all.  It was a lot of fun and I can't wait to see how they all turn out.  I plugged in one of the cards (I had filled 5 of them) to the computer and let it start loading....

Sunday I woke up and I was miserable.  The sickness had really struck me and I just had the feeling of exhaustion.  I didn't even feel like I was in my own body.  But I didn't want to miss church OR my lunch with my dear friend, Katie.  So I went and I'm glad I did.  It was a great sermon and from what I could hear of it while trying to stay alive-ha, it reminded me to trust that God will provide.  My lunch with Katie was great as usual.  I am so thankful to have such an amazing friend that I can be on the same page with.  We have the same morals and values and I really feel like I can still relate with her at the stage of life that I'm in.  If I need prayer or to vent about something that's going on in my life, she's there.  I wish we could get together more often than we do, but we always pick up where we leave off and that's a true friendship.  Life is just too busy for both of us sometimes!

I came home and went straight to bed and felt somewhat better when I got up until......I went to check on my computer that evening and the card said it was still in the process of loading, the clock still said it was 5:30 Saturday evening and nothing was moving.  Well, I thought it would just be one of those things where I could just shut it off and turn it back on but when I did, it just gave me a white screen with the apple and just the little loading circle thing.  White screen of death.  Justin said the top was really hot too.  So, we shut it off and let it cool down and then tried again and just kept getting the same thing.  I was freaking out.  You have to realize that this literally is my life most of the time.  I spend hours upon hours with this thing.  I use it every day.  It's how I do my job and it's set up with my workflow that's taken me years to setup how is easiest for me.  I had planned on ordering a new computer at the end of the year so that I could work on it in January and get it all transferred and set up how I want it while I had some down time after the crazy season/rush was over since the computer was about three years old.  But I wanted to finish the year out with the one I was used to.  I just decided to bite the bullet and get online and order my new computer right then.  It has to be built, but I made sure to get rush shipping.  And it tells me it will be delivered between Nov. 8th and 12th.  Seems like forever!  I had no hope that my old one was going to live but praise God I'm a freak for backing up my files.  I had just backed up things before I left Saturday morning.  I have all of my pictures on external hard drives.  There are some things that I still need from the old computer, but I have not lost any client's photos....very thankful for that.

The worst part is that I cannot work--literally.  We have this little macbook that I got in college that I started editing on when I opened up the business, but it does not have the same quality as my big iMac and does not take the large RAW files that I use now.  It fills up way too quickly and doesn't have the space.  However, since my pictures are on external hard drives and I have my ordering application on this computer I could still place the orders on Monday as usual.  Very thankful for that as well.  The part that I'm freaking out about is that I did 16 sessions on Saturday alone and still had 3 before that to edit, as well as the ones that I'm still doing this week.  2 Monday and 4 today.  That's 25 sessions total.  Holy cow, it sounds even worse when I type it out.  If you know me at all, you know that I am obsessive on trying to keep caught up.  If you have your pictures done with me, you hardly ever have to wait more than a week to see your proofs.  I start working on them immediately.  I want my clients to have the best service and get their proofs back to them quickly.  So.....stressed out freak out depressed mode has set it immensely here.....

Paula from Rapture Salon and one of the best women in this whole entire world stated it perfectly when she said "You not having a computer is like me trying to work without scissors!"  Yes...so true!

Tom from Pro-tech called me on Monday because my uncle Steve had found out my computer crashed.  He told me to bring it in and he would see what he could do.  My hard drive ended up being corrupt.  He was trying to save my data and transfer it and he did!  Thank you so much Tom.

Also on Monday I did one of my best friend's since kindergarten's maternity photos!  She came up for the weekend from Booneville just to do them and we had been planning it for a long time.  Started out great and them it started pouring on us.  Luckily enough Bekka is a super awesome person and didn't mind posing in the rain to finish them up.  It wasn't even supposed to rain Monday morning.  Just my luck though with how the week was starting out....

I also paid bills Monday.  I told myself I might as well make it a hugely depressing day..haha.  Property tax, a big truck payment and the HUGE chunk I had to fork over for this new computer.  Not really what I was expecting all at once...

Tim, also from Pro-tech and is my family's second family and who also does photography told me that I could use his computer to at least transfer files to and try to get them loaded and off of my cards.  I had all day Tuesday so I was going to try and do that.  I needed to go to town and get another card reader so I could keep transferring on my laptop at home and still do the same on his computer.  I was going to need to transfer them to my external so I could still bring them back home to work on them.  So....I get all the way to wal-mart Tuesday morning and find that I have forgotten my wallet at home.  So, driving without a license AND no money to buy a card reader.  Tim comes to save the day and loans me some cash to get me one so I didn't have to drive all the way home.  Get to pro-tech and the card reader isn't fitting my card for some reason.  Finally figure that out and then try to plug in the external to Tim's PC computer.  It doesn't work.  Well DUH!  My external is formatted to work only on a mac.  Of course.  So there goes that plan.  Just add it to the week of bad luck....

So I went back home to wallow.  I was really upset.  I have seven cards to upload and they each take 5 hrs. to download and I can only do one at a time.  I was feeling extremely hopeless.  BUT, I kept getting texts, and facebook posts that really lifted my spirits.  I don't know what I'd do without all of your support.  THEN, Judy, Tim's wife and part of our family's second family (haha) came all the way to my house and brought me a peppermint mocha from Starbucks!  Oh my goodness, it made my day so much.  To know someone cares that much and went out of their way means the world to me.  Thank you Judy!  Just those little notes of encouragement plus a cup of coffee gave me a huge realization that....

Yes, this is a really stressful time for me.  One that I hoped would never happen, honestly.  But I have to look on the bright side of it.  The positives.  This is all happening for a reason and if I just open my eyes I can see it.  This is not life or death.  This is not the end of the world.  There are so many worse things going on right now.  I've notified a few of the people that have been waiting awhile on their pictures to get edited and they've all been so kind and gracious.  It makes me feel so much better to know that!  God is giving me rest.  I was sick and overwhelmed but yesterday I didn't have the stress to have to get anything done.  I got to rest.  I got to veg out and I cannot even remember the last time that I've felt like I can do that.  Because even if I AM mostly caught up, there's still things I'm doing on the computer for the business.  But I literally CAN'T right now.  It took this to make me realize I'm not always going to get everything done quickly.  I have to trust that God will provide.  Yes, I had to pay for a not-so-cheap computer when I had other plans for that money, but God provided it.  God is the one in control and with "plans".  Not me.

I don't know where you are today or what you're going through.  But I have to say if it wasn't for me leaning completely on God right now I would be a mess.  It took me a couple of days to realize this, and I'm not going to say that I'm not still stressed/worried about getting it all done when I am back up and running, but I always get it done and it WILL get done.  There are so many more important things going on than this.  I have gotten to get refreshed and renewed and I'm ready to conquer this editing when I can.  I have gotten to spend much needed time with my husband without worrying about all that I have to do.  Whatever your worries are today, give them to GOD!  Because your worrying isn't going to help anything.  It never betters anything and you have no control over it.  God's got it under control.  Whatever your situation is, look at the bright side of it and the good things that can come from it.

Again, thank you to all of the kind and gracious people that have been lifting my spirits.  You truly mean the world to me.  I hope that you have a blessed week!

Emily

P.S., the title of this blog is a song.  Praise You in this storm by Casting Crowns.  Listen to it :)

Well hello there!  It has really been forever since I've written.  Now, I normally have some certain topic pop up in my head that I'd like to write about, but this time, I have nothing in particular.  Just an update on life I suppose.  Maybe something genius will come to my brain as I type :)

I can't remember what really has all went on since I last wrote.  I know a lot has.  A wedding in the family, a new vehicle purchase and NEW CARPET to name a few!  I have been waiting for new carpet since we bought the house in December of 2009!  It's such an awesome update.  I love it so much and Willie Tallman and his crew did a fantastic job.  I wouldn't have wanted anyone but them to have done it.

Well, this past weekend was a great/busy weekend.  My brother-in-law, Kyle married Morgan and I got a new sister!  It was a beautiful wedding.  One of my best friend's in the entire world, Tiffany (Owen) Johnson came back into town because she was in the wedding too!  I feel like I haven't seen her in forever.  Friday, we decorated the church and Moose Lodge and then I got to go get my nails done with Morgan and her cousin, Taylor.  I love having my nails done.  It was a great girly time :)  Then the rehearsal and dinner!  I got to wear my own set of cowboy boots for the first time and I'm not gonna lie, I didn't hate it!  I am SO NOT a country girl.  For those of you that know me, or have even had me take your pictures and I've had to go through the woods or fields, etc.  I'm very girly and not outdoorsy or country.  I'm more of a heels type girl.  But I put them with a dress and wa la!  Cute :)  A lot of us wore our boots that night and it was adorable.  Okay so a random squirrel moment here, but the funniest thing ever was when Morgan's grandma pointed at Anthony Brummer and had forgotten his name so she stopped and said "MEATBALLS!!"  So that's his new nickname;)

So the next morning (the wedding day) did not start out well for me.  I had a date with Tiffany and Adriene at Starbucks for coffee.  I use my phone for an alarm and it shut off during the night and I woke up when I was supposed to be out the door.  So I was flustered and then there was a ginormous line at Starbucks because it was right before the Truman Homecoming parade.  Either way, the rest of the morning went well because I had my coffee and a great date with two great friends whom I love so dearly.  Next up I picked up a couple extra coffee's.  One for the bride herself and one for Judy who was taking pictures with us at the hair place!  Coffee makes life better :)

I was then off to pick up the bride from the church.  We went to the hair place to start getting hair done and I had an up-do of one that I picked out.  Now, I do have an extreme amount of hair and I had picked out something that the lady didn't know if she could do or not.  I sent the pic to Paula at Rapture and she said they could do it and Lindey had an opening!  I had to take Morgan there next anyway to get her make-up done by the very talented Tierney Hocker.  Make-up goddess that woman is!  So I get there and Paula and Lindey both start curling my hair.  Between both of them they gave me such a fabulous up-do and I cannot thank them enough for doing an emergency style on me!  I would do anything for those Rapture Ladies.  Best girls EVER.  Off to the church we went from there and we got dressed.  Morgan looked absolutely stunning and seeing her in the dress with her hair and make-up done was so awesome.  The wedding was beautiful and nobody tripped down the aisle ;)  I was a bit concerned for Lucas and I as our rehearsal down the aisle wasn't flawless but so funny.  I get nervous and tend to walk a little bit fast and he had to kinda yank me back a couple times--haha.  I think the best part was when Brent (Morgan's dad) gave her away and his lip started to quiver as he held back tears giving away his little girl.  So sweet and reminded me of my daddy giving me away.  A daddy/daughter bond is something that is so sweet and something to cherish.

From there we took a few more pics and went off to the reception!  I let out of my shell and danced my little heart out!  I learned how to line dance and did a little two-stepping with my husband and father-in-law.  I think those boots did something to me!  I was a dancing machine--haha!  Even after Morgan and Kyle left the reception we were still dancing.  Daddy Buckallew taught me how to really two-step and I perfected the line dance.  I even got to dance with my nephew Kaden and did the cupid shuffle while holding him--talent, I tell ya!  I danced until about 10:30, I had such a blast!

I can't describe how incredibly weird it was to not only attend a wedding but to be IN a wedding.  The only wedding I've been a bridesmaid in is my sister's wedding which was before I even started taking pictures.  Ever since then I've been to tons of weddings but it was always a full day of work.  When Morgan told me back when she and Kyle first started dating that she wanted me to actually be in their wedding I about cried.  It meant so much to me.  The fact that I got to be a part of all of the fun things with out being expected to work was the most amazing feeling.  I never have time to sit down and catch up with people, dance, etc.  Please don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed shooting weddings, it is enjoyable to meet new people and capture the excitement, etc., but it was a great break from the norm to be on the other side for once.  See what it's like from the other side of the lens.  The whole family got to be a part of this wedding and it was a fabulous day to enjoy together.  I can't say that I honestly wasn't stir crazy though.  I really don't know what to do when I'm not working.  But especially at the reception being able to sit back and relax, dance and eat and socialize--it was awesome.  Thank you, Kyle and Morgan for letting me be a part of your day.

I asked on facebook tonight what I should write about.  I really enjoy getting people's opinions who want to know things from me that I can write about.  Tonight I had one person say I should take a step back and write about where I am now, and another person told me to write about the world's views today compared to how we were raised, etc.  I think I can mesh those together pretty well :)

When I look back on how I've gotten to where I am today it's because of how I was raised.  My parent's did a fantastic job on instilling values and work ethic in my sister and me.  And that's gotten me to where I am today.  We were very loved in our home but also disciplined.  We didn't get away with doing stupid things.  We didn't get to go out and do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted.  We didn't get things handed to us without working for them.  We were taught to respect others.  We were taught to help others.  The list goes on.  The world's views today teach you that everything should be handed to you.  At the age of 15, my sister and I both had cars we were paying for and were getting jobs.  My parent's bought the cars and we paid them.  We always had to pay for gas so we were conscious of where we were going to go and if it was that important because of gas costs.  I'm not trying to make it sound like my parent's just didn't pay for anything, they paid for a lot, but when it came to the things that we were going to have to pay for in the real world, we were fully prepared.  Cell phone, insurance, car, etc., we paid for.  My parent's taught us what to look for in a husband and although they were extremely choosy in who we were interested in, I'm thankful because I knew exactly what I wanted when it came to finding my husband and I didn't have regrets from my past to carry into that relationship.  The work ethic of both of my parent's carried over into my life.  I didn't know if I could start my own business at the age I did and be successful but I've been told many times that my work ethic is great.  I have a mindset to get things done and looking back, it's all because of how I was raised and how I watched my parents.  I am so thankful for it.  If I was allowed to do whatever I wanted, who knows where I'd be.  But because of the moral values that I was raised with, I can look back with not many regrets.  I wasn't scared when I got married and into the real world--I was prepared.  My advice is not to compromise.  Stick with what you believe in and do what's right.  Respect others and respect yourself.  I got made fun of a few times in High School for not being allowed to do certain things, date certain people, go to parties, etc.  I may have been a bit frustrated then, but I'm extremely happy and blessed to be where I am now.  I have worked so hard to get where I am today and I'm so thankful for it.  Thank you so much mom and dad for putting up with my attitude and raising me the right way.  I love you both so much for it and I hope I can do the same with my future children.

I feel like this is such a random post, but I guess when you don't write in so long you just have a lot to catch up on :)  One more thing that I wanted to write a little bit about is the letter that I found from my grandpa.  I posted about it on facebook but I feel like I can elaborate a bit more on here.  So, as I said before, my senior of High School I took a composition class where I was required to keep a journal.  I filled two or three of those journals and I put everything in them.  Posts, pictures, notes, etc.  Everything from senior year.  At the end of the year we were to tape them up and put them away and not think about them or find them for years.  Well, when Justin and I first got married and moved into this house we put a lot of things downstairs until it could get sorted through.  We had a basement flood.  My journals were part of it and I was devastated.  They looked ruined.  I left them alone because I was so distraught but then about a year later I decided to try and open them and save them.  Some things were saved but I could tell others were ruined.  I put them away again without reading them.  Before I taped them up my senior year, I had friends and family write notes to me that I didn't read before I taped them up.  Well, last week I had an itching to get some out and read them.  I found one from my Grandpa Findling.  He passed away my senior year and I didn't even realize that he had written one to me.  He even dated it and I saw that he wrote it just 11 days before he died....I'll always cherish this and I'm so thankful that God saved this letter...

I wish my grandpa could see where I am now.  To see that I am living my dream of photography and that I've found a man that he would be so proud of.  He's so much like my grandpa...


Well, I guess that's all I have for tonight.  Took me enough hours to write it :)  For any of you that read, please don't hesitate to email me or message me questions or topics that you'd like me to write about.  It will make me stop and write more.  I've got something already working in my head for next time I think.  If I can put it all in the right words.  Again, thank you for taking the time to read this and enjoy the pictures posted below :)

BEFORE! Brown ugly carpet

AFTER! Pretty carpet!

Got a pink extension for breast cancer awareness!  Get cha one at Rapture salon $10!!

Hey ya'll.  I feel like I've been really m.i.a. with everything lately!  I am working away, but things just KEPT coming to my mind that I wanted to write down.  There's been many times I've wanted to sit down and write a post but I just cannot find the time!  Feeling pretty overwhelmed/stressed lately.  Starting this week, September is going to be completely insane with not hardly one day open that I'm not supposed to be doing something.  If you know me, you know that I get stressed just looking at the calendar and know what's ahead.  I'm not good at taking one day at a time!  But, this past Sunday I told myself...."I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me".  One day at a time.  Well, we're on the second day!

Yesterday was a Monday.  I woke up trying to get the mindset that was positive and one to conquer the day.  I had a senior session at 8am that morning, so I got on my merry way.  It was HOT!  Yesterday was one of the hottest days that we've had for awhile.  I just kept going from session to session until I finally got finished at 8pm.  I think that was the most I've done on a weekday, physically shooting pictures for 8 hours, let alone the hours of returning emails, calls, placing orders and editing a bit.  On top of that I substitute teach at Novinger as well, which I really enjoy.  I did that today.  I woke up this morning before school and returned a few emails, only to get completely overwhelmed before I even started my day.  I still had orders that should've been out last week sitting in my office waiting for me to sort them and package them.  I headed to town leaving my work behind and left a little early to grab some of my favorite coffee--white chocolate mocha from Starbucks :)  On the way, I was listening to Spirit FM as usual, when they brought up a contest to win a family pack of tickets to go see Mark Lowry in Columbia.  I never call in to contests.  So, I listened as the host was going to "hum" a song and someone had to guess what she was humming (rather do-do-doing).  They got a guy on the line and he just said he had no idea what she was singing.  I knew right away, one of the best songs by Casting Crowns.  They went to the next caller and she guessed but also got it incorrect.  I decided to take a chance and call.  First time was busy and the second time it rang twice and then I heard "Do you know what it is??"  I said "The voice of truth!"  I was right and I won.  It was the best feeling.  I had really wanted to see Mark live but didn't think it would work out to go so I just didn't think any more about it.  Now I get to go with my family and Justin actually has the night off to go too!  Isn't it crazy how God ALWAYS knows what we need in just the right moment?  I was even talking to Him on the way to school asking him to give me a better attitude about the day.  I was weary and wondering when there would be a light and a break.  Well, he provided us with a chance to have some fun and laugh with the comedian in the midst of the chaos.  I'm so excited and so thankful that God always knows what we need.  It just happened to be that I got in the car early to go get coffee that morning.  Normally I wouldn't be out the door for another ten minutes.

I was having a great day then a few things here and there kinda tore me down again.  You know, life is a roller coaster.  I try to hard to keep the peace and keep everyone happy.  It really is one of my main goals in life.  There's just some days where I really wonder if what I'm doing makes a difference and if I'm doing the right thing.  There's so many people that are better than I am at photography, and when I get so overwhelmed, I wonder how just me by myself can handle all of this anymore.  It's becoming a large load to take on.  I know it's just the busy season and it's like this every year but when I get so worn down or if someone is unhappy, doubt fills my mind and I just get down on myself and wonder if I'm good enough.  I know, I know, it's just Satan filling me with lies because I'm letting him....but once again, it's the little things that God turns around and brings someone/something in at JUST the right time when we need it.  I checked my messages just a little bit ago in the midst of catching up on work and someone wrote this message to me just because.

Emily, I just HAVE to tell you......you are such a gifted lady. I'm not going to say gifted photographer....thats labeling.....you are a gifted woman who photographs....and photographs STUNNING photo's....constantly!  I just thought you should know that. Hope your having a good day

I keep an encouragement wall up right above my computer.  Just random notes people put in with their payments, or cards I have gotten, etc.   The compliments mean the world to me and keep me going!

Guys, these aren't just "fluke" things.  God has opened my eyes many times today!  He ALWAYS provides and loves us so much!  I know there's a few rough weeks ahead of me, and you may be going through the same thing.  Whether it be work, school, family, etc.  We are busy people.  It's overwhelming but we HAVE to take it one day at a time.  It will get done and we need to open our eyes to the good.  God has given us another day to live and breathe and make a difference.

Just on a random note, no matter how incredibly tired I may be from the day, I absolutely love my job and I have the say the best part is meeting people.  I have met some incredible people that I call friends now.  I get the opportunity to meet and get to know new people every day.  My main priority lately is just to have fun.  I want everyone to feel completely comfortable and at home while having FUN!  Pictures are much more enjoyable that way.  I really hope that people see their experience with me as fun, it's really what it should be!

On another random note, sometimes I get the opportunity to share parts of my life with people.  Sometimes they don't believe what a conservative life I lead, especially during the high school years, just simply because I can be fun and have a great time just being who I am.  All I can think about today is that some of the reason that I am who I am and why I didn't date tons throughout HS (which is typical, and I see it all of the time at school) has everything to do with my past and what makes my story.  I am me because of what I have gone through.  (even though my parents had a lot to do with it too, but don't worry mom (and dad), I thank you now for your good judgement and keeping me from making some bad decisions! ;)  No matter how "rough" that part of my life was, it has made me who I am today and I feel like God will use that story to help someone else someday if I allow him to open my heart up to it.  I may not be understood, but just know that there's a story behind everyone and why they are the way they are.  We can choose to take our rough parts and use them for GOOD (with God's help of course), or let them ruin us.

I know that was a lot of random-ness in a post, and I would update you on all that has happened lately but I just really need to get back to work and catching up before my four sessions again tomorrow.  Can't get too behind!  Back to work on some pretty faces!! :)

Hello friends :)  Happy Monday!  Normally, I wouldn't put happy and Monday in the same sentence.  And even if you would've asked me this morning, or this afternoon, I probably would've said crappy Monday instead of happy.

Justin and I got to get away for the weekend.  We BOTH had the weekend off (whaaaa??)  That never happens.  I *try* to take one Saturday off a month.  Hardly happens, but hey.  But even worse now is that Justin only gets one Saturday off a month right now.  Getting those two to line up when mine are booked months in advance is going to be extremely rare.  God must've known that we needed some quality time.  I'm so thankful we got to take a short trip.  Had some points for a couple free nights on a hotel so hey, it worked out wonderfully there too!

We left Friday night and got to the hotel and crashed.  The next morning was a full day of shopping!  It was so fun.  We had pretzels from Auntie Anne's for lunch because we were planning to have a large supper.  I found so many great deals on clothes (yeah, I know, I don't need anymore.  BUT I cleaned out my closet and have about 3 huge trash bags to get rid of!) I got a black dress for $4.99, and one store I went in had buy one get one free clearance.  This girl just couldn't resist.  That night we got to go to a Japanese Steakhouse.  My favorite!  We had so much food left over but it was an awesome time.  The next morning was a little more shopping, breakfast at IHOP (amazing!) and a quick stop at QT for our favorite frozen drinks for the way home :)  Great trip and amazing quality time with my hubby--just what we needed!  Here's a few pics....

My clothing haul from the weekend!

Oh, and I think Max had a great time on his vacation :)  Spoiled much?

Anyway, everyone knows that Mondays aren't fun anyway, but they're especially not fun when you had a great getaway weekend and don't want to come back because there's twice as much to do then before you left.  I got pretty much caught up before I left, but Mondays are my busiest days as it is and there was tons to catch up on.  I get stressed out so easily in general and think that everything has to be done right away.  I put way too much pressure on myself.  Today I had three sessions and the first one was at 8am in Milan.  It's an hour drive for me now to Milan, but I at least got to stop and say hello to my grandma, grandpa and dad on my way back through before I had to come home and place orders and get to my next session.  I was pooped and had a bad attitude about today.  I woke up just completely worrying about stupid little things and how much there was to get done.  I felt defeated, and let Satan make me think that I wasn't worth it and my job didn't make a difference or wasn't meaningful.  I just woke up with the attitude that today was going to be a bad day, and with that mindset, it was.  I had a great time on all of my shoots and was friendly and cheerful, I just love doing my job and seeing smiles and interacting my clients, etc.  I am able to put everything that is on my mind right then behind me and focus on what I'm doing.  I'm thankful that I'm able to do that.  (Random SQUIRREL moment, it was HOTTTTT today!)  Anyway, I got to my last session and it was someone that I've known for most of my life and have photographed her kids pretty much since I've started.  God meant for me to have this session tonight.  I just LOVE getting to watch people's children grow up and capture that stage of their life that they'll never get back.  Capturing a moment in time, capturing the personality.  Which boy, these girls are always filled with fun personalities :)  I get to catch up with people, meet new people, watch their babies grow up and feel like I'm a part of their life.  I seriously love that.  Anyway, this was my last session of the evening and I was sweaty, hot and tired.  At the end of the session, this person gave me a card.  It was taped shut so I didn't read it until I left, but it almost put me to tears and was instantly humbling to me.  The jist of the thank you card was that she was thanking me for being a blessing to so many people.  How they enjoy my blog and are thankful for all of the memories I've captured for them and the many more that I still will.  It also included a Starbucks gift card--the instant way to my heart :) lol.  I just can't believe how much more of the God-send that could've been.  With a day that I was feeling completely defeated and questioning my purpose once again, HE is faithful and HE brings just the right things into our lives to encourage us.  It was just what I needed.  So, with that story here's my words of wisdom for the day and for whatever it's worth.  YOU have a purpose and YOU are making a difference in someone's life.  Whether someone points that out to you or is silent about it, just know that you have a purpose.  And on the other end of the spectrum, encourage people.  This tonight is just what I needed and if she hadn't of written it, I would still be thinking about my purpose.  Her few words fueled the fire in my to become more of an encouraging person.  Keep the chain going, we all need encouragement.  God has a plan for all of us!

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11

Happy Monday!  I wonder sometimes though if happy and Monday really belong in the same sentence sometimes :)  This one has not been so bad yet and I hope it's been great for all of you, too!  It's been a little over a week since I have written and that right there just explains kind of what life has been like lately.  Pure, craziness!  From about August to December is my non-stop busy season.  Between senior pictures and fall/Christmas card family pictures it's insane.  I have this problem though that I tend to over book myself because I want so badly to get everyone in.  Ahhh!  Anyway, onto what's been going on lately.

First off, I got to hang out with my mom Friday afternoon and she went along and helped me run my business errands (delivering, post office, bank, etc.) and then we went and had a nice lunch and talked business a little.  I talk to my mom about everything now.  Between she and my sister, they're my best friends.  They know me and understand me plus give great advice.  So we had a great time talking over lunch.  Then I went with her to look at furniture (yes, AGAIN.  She's been so indecisive about it, lol) and then she went with me to look at carpet!  Our project lately has not only been the garage, but I finally get to get rid of my eighty's brown shag carpet, too! :)  I got to go pick it out.  I'm so excited.  Those of you that know me, know that I've wanted to get rid of this carpet from the beginning.  But, we had to count our blessings and stick with what we had for awhile and just do what we could here and there.  I'm thankful for the time with my ugly carpet because it's going to make me appreciate the little things so much more!  I had to realize right off that I couldn't have it all at once, even though I wanted the house to be perfect.  The paint changed it a lot and working on the house little by little has transformed it and I'm so happy.

Between my father-in-law and my dad, I don't know where we would be with this garage.  They have both given up so much time for us and I'm so grateful.  Thank you also to Trent (Justin's brother) and Paul (John and Becky's neighbor) who also came to help on Thursday night to get more things done.  It means the world to have the help!  It's beautiful and I finally get to park in it.  Even though the electricity is not all ready, my dad put up the door openers and hooked an extension cord up to it so I could park in it.  It's the little things, guys.

Also, exciting news....I've been looking for a kitchen table for awhile.  I was not in need of one, but the table we have now has been passed down to many people and only holds 4.  We couldn't have anyone over because there wouldn't be room!  Well, my dear sister tagged my name on one she found in the swap shop on Saturday.  It was exactly what I wanted.  Holds 6 normally and has a self-storing leaf.  It's tall, like I wanted too!  I am going to paint it black, that was my plan all along, to find one I could paint to match my decor.  So my dad helped me pick that up from Edina on Sunday afternoon.  (He does so much for me, I'm so blessed to have him!)  I'm so excited to transform it.  Here's the "before" picture.

Anyway, now onto something I've been struggling with lately.  Since Justin's new job promotion to sales, we've been really excited about it.  It's just something he will do so well with because of his personality.  I'm so proud of him.  He's done great so far.  But his hours have changed dramatically.  Before, they were set hours.  Now they're pretty random.  I am not complaining one bit.  I love his job so much and the people he works with.  It just fits him.  I'm just struggling with how to change our lifestyle around a little bit so we're still seeing each other.  Trying to change my work schedule around a little bit to where I'll work at night if I have to since he works late and take off part of the days that he has off.  So, it's been interesting.  I've just been struggling with finding my place.  I can't just sit on the couch and wait until he should get off because he can get off anywhere from 1-3 hours late with his job.  I am needing to find a hobby.  I can work all of the time if I want, yes because work is always there, OR I can find something I really enjoy.  Still trying to figure that part out :)  I've lately been cleaning the basement and trying to clean closets and such so it will be easier to move things around for carpet when the time comes.  Blogging has become a new hobby and of course exercise.  Anyway, just trying to find my place right now.

But I want to talk about something else.  Since Justin and I's time has become a little more limited, it's made me realize how much I've taken it for granted when we got to spend every waking minute together.  Now, it's just a few hours at night when he gets home.  I'm used to getting done with work and then playing on my phone and watching TV and relaxing the rest of the night.  Well, I'm tired of wasting my time.  I feel sometimes like technology has ruined us.  What happened to family time?  What happened to sitting around and talking or playing games, or laying outside, etc.?  It's just something I've been realizing lately.  TV and movies are great and they have their place of course.  But I don't know if you have the same issue, but now that I have facebook, twitter, instagram, and pinterest on my phone, it's instinct to be on it and see what's new.  But I'm wasting precious time and memories with my husband.  Why am I wasting the little time that I do have?  So, I decided last night when Justin got home to turn off the TV and do something.  I asked if he wanted to go take a few pictures.  I'm so blessed to have him because he never complains about doing things that I want to do and that are fun for me.  He's amazing.  Let's be honest, I was struggling with my self-esteem last night.  Something that's a daily battle for me.  But I love the emotion and art that can be captured in a photograph.  I always love making people feel beautiful and how they need to be seen through my artwork.  Sometimes, you just want to get dolled up and try it for yourself though.  I have a lot of fun in front of the camera too.  I also got to feel what it was like to be in front of the camera.  I felt vulnerable and needed Justin to tell me what looked right and make me feel comfortable.  It made me realize how much harder I need to work and making people feel comfortable.  It was a great experience.  Anyway, we had a blast with that and got some really fun shots that I'll share at the end of this post!  Then, we came back into the house and we played a game that just asks random questions to each other.  Each card would ask something like "What food do you hate", etc., etc.  We just learned random things about each other.  Even last week we went out and laid under the stars and waited for the meteor shower.  (I didn't see the meteor shower though because I got too sleepy).  It's memories.  We never know how much time we'll have with family and friends so let's make the most of it.  Tell these people you love them every day.  Laugh with them.  Choose your battles, don't hold grudges.  No petty thing is worth being mad over.  Make memories, and shut of the world and technology sometimes.  That's just what I've been thinking about lately.....

This one right here I love for some reason.  I look like a complete dork, but that's my genuine laugh and smile.  I was "leaping" which Justin missed the mid-air shot, but he captured this instead.  Something that makes me think of for this photo is, "Embrace Life".

Your love never fails

Hey there, happy Sunday!  I love Sundays.  The day to take off, worship God and fellowship.  Along with resting, I love my Sunday naps.  I wasn't sure if I wanted to write again so soon to be honest.  The last post I had written caused me a lot of stress and anxiety.  I know that God wanted me to post it and as soon as I hit "publish" Satan started to attack me.  Such a battle, but he did not win.  I do feel, however, that my post was taken wrong in some ways.  My only point in that post was to write from my heart and the struggles I face with my identity.  And to relate it to your life.  I am very thankful for those of you that related with me, I know that everyone goes through it in a different way and that's what the post was meant to be about.

Anyway, on a brighter note, today was our church's 35th anniversary!  The pastor that originally started with the church came back and actually preached today.  He did a fabulous job.  So many things hit me with what he was saying, but there were two points that stuck out to me and things I need to think about.

He was talking about disciples and that we are to go and make disciples.  (follower of Christ).  The whole sermon was along these lines, but when he pointed out EGR, I really liked that.  EGR stands for "Extra Grace Required".  Now, we all have those certain people in our lives that just drive us nuts.  Those ones that we just don't hardly have any patience for sometimes.  Well, those people require extra grace from us.  I kind of chuckled a little bit because when he said that, I just sat and tried to think of a few.  I did, but after the sermon I was immediately humbled.  We had a church picnic afterwards to celebrate the 35 years of our church.  I wasn't even going to stay.  Justin had to go into work, I was tired, I was cranky to be honest and I just had so much I needed to get done here at home.  So, I was in line with my mom just talking about the sermon a little bit and little things were just irritating me.  I just am the type of person that has no patience in general sometimes.  Well, most of the time anyway.  Have you ever met one of those people that are just the sweetest thing alive?  They're just always happy, loving, caring and personable?  I always want to be like that.  But let's face it, I'm pretty much the opposite and I'm noticing it and not afraid to admit it.  As I sat there in my semi-cranky mood right before I left I thought "I am the person that needs extra grace."  Wow, how humbling.  I can't imagine being around me sometimes.  I am working on certain things in my life as I go through the refining process as I've talked about before, but I get so frustrated with myself.  Why can't I just be one of those constant bubbly people?  I'm thankful for those that constantly love me and put up with me, but wow, I am one of those people I'm sure that just requires the extra grace.  Which leads me to the next thing from his sermon that stood out to me.  And it goes along with it.  He actually asked the question if our lives were worth imitating.  When we go and try to make disciples, let's face it, people are watching us and our actions.  The way we live speaks WAY louder than the words that we tell them.  Is MY life worth imitating?  Is it even CLOSE to even starting to look Christ-like?  Sure, I might stand apart a little by the way I live.  (going to church, not partying, etc.)  But hey, anyone can do that.  But is my lack of patience, attitude etc., worth following?  Sometimes I have days that I'm the most happy and loving person ever, then the next day I can be the complete opposite.  "feelings" never last.  (Greg Speck).  I need to constantly remember that I have the joy of Christ in me and live like that, no matter what the day is like or what my "feelings" think.  I'm working on it, and with God's help I'll become better each day.  However, that's not to say it's not completely frustrating.  I get frustrated with myself that I can't always be that happy, bubbly person.  I wonder how God even puts up with me and my emotions.  But on the way home today, I heard a song on the radio.  90.7.  It's a song I've heard thousands of times as it's on the radio frequently, but songs will always hit you when you need them to.  It's always been one of God's ways of comforting me and speaking to me.  This song is called "One Thing Remains" and the lyrics that stood out to me as I was feeling down and frustrated with myself was this:

Your love never fails, it never gives up, never runs out on me......
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_y3K2Qvr6iM

Listen to it if you haven't heard it yet.  It just gave me hope.  He's not giving up on me.  Let's not give up on each other and loving each other either.  Have the extra grace for people that need it when our patience it wearing thin.  Definitely something I'm going to be working on constantly.

Apart from that, I had a fabulous weekend off!  I don't hardly ever get Saturdays off so with Justin working on the one Saturday I had off (*sniffle*), I really wanted to enjoy it.  I got to have a girl's shopping day with my mom, sister, grandma and nieces.  Starting out with Thursday afternoon, I went to the pool with my sister and nieces and cousin that came from out of town for the week.  I just worked that night instead of the afternoon so it worked out that I could do that!  Friday evening, Justin and I FINALLY got to try Sebrees, the restaurant that is almost literally in our back yard-ha!  It's been here for awhile, but we had never gone to try it.  We went with one of my bestest friends in the world, Katie and her boyfriend David.  It was delicious!  Then Saturday I got to go shopping and spend some time with the girls.  We used to go with my grandma to shop a lot, but it had been so long!  It was really nice and we made lots of memories.  Then today was the picnic and tonight I get to spend more time with family for a birthday celebration.  What a packed, fun weekend.  I'm so blessed to get a weekend like this to be with so much family.  Below are a few random pictures from the fun!  Back to the busy work week we go.  But nice to be refreshed after some much needed time off.

My dear friend Katie and me at Sebrees!

Morgan wanted Grandma "Finiley" to push her all day :)

Just a quick cute little bun I did while we waited :)

My new shirt I found yesterday!

 Okay, so.....yesterday while at Target I bought one of those "hair wands" that's supposed to give you those cool beach waves.  My aunt Kamden did her hair with one last weekend and it was SO CUTE!  Despite the look I got from the cashier (ha, you know what I'm talking about if you've seen one of these things!) I bought one in great hopes of those waves.  Well, this morning was the first time using it and it took like an hour on my hair since it's like five miles long.  I think I did it wrong.  I think it needed to be done in larger chunks of hair.  I got a curly look, but I have to say, my hair looks like this naturally so all of that time spent was for nothing :(  I really want to know how to use it correctly so it can turn out as it's supposed to!  Anyone else use these things?  I guess I got a few waves here and there but they were random--haha.