Hello everyone. I thought this would be the perfect time to write. I have a lot in my head right now but we'll see if it all comes together. I actually have a spare moment to write today and I feel like I need to explain some things. Many of you I'm sure have seen my statuses on facebook this week--which I hope weren't to hopeless and negative sounding. I tried to make them sound like I still have my hope, which I do. It's just been a miserably rough week. BUT, it could be so much worse and I'm still extremely thankful as I'm trying to see the reasoning and good behind the situation.
Saturday I had my mini sessions and those went really well! It was cold, and my mom and I started at 8 in the morning and were out there until 5. I was on the verge of being sick earlier that week but after being in the wind and cold on Saturday it really got me, unfortunately. One of those things that are just hard to avoid. I really enjoyed Saturday though. We had a different family every 15-20 minutes that day with just a break for lunch. I also had two regular sessions in between that were reschedules from weather. Most of the families that day were regular clients and I really enjoyed every minute of seeing them all. It was a lot of fun and I can't wait to see how they all turn out. I plugged in one of the cards (I had filled 5 of them) to the computer and let it start loading....
Sunday I woke up and I was miserable. The sickness had really struck me and I just had the feeling of exhaustion. I didn't even feel like I was in my own body. But I didn't want to miss church OR my lunch with my dear friend, Katie. So I went and I'm glad I did. It was a great sermon and from what I could hear of it while trying to stay alive-ha, it reminded me to trust that God will provide. My lunch with Katie was great as usual. I am so thankful to have such an amazing friend that I can be on the same page with. We have the same morals and values and I really feel like I can still relate with her at the stage of life that I'm in. If I need prayer or to vent about something that's going on in my life, she's there. I wish we could get together more often than we do, but we always pick up where we leave off and that's a true friendship. Life is just too busy for both of us sometimes!
I came home and went straight to bed and felt somewhat better when I got up until......I went to check on my computer that evening and the card said it was still in the process of loading, the clock still said it was 5:30 Saturday evening and nothing was moving. Well, I thought it would just be one of those things where I could just shut it off and turn it back on but when I did, it just gave me a white screen with the apple and just the little loading circle thing. White screen of death. Justin said the top was really hot too. So, we shut it off and let it cool down and then tried again and just kept getting the same thing. I was freaking out. You have to realize that this literally is my life most of the time. I spend hours upon hours with this thing. I use it every day. It's how I do my job and it's set up with my workflow that's taken me years to setup how is easiest for me. I had planned on ordering a new computer at the end of the year so that I could work on it in January and get it all transferred and set up how I want it while I had some down time after the crazy season/rush was over since the computer was about three years old. But I wanted to finish the year out with the one I was used to. I just decided to bite the bullet and get online and order my new computer right then. It has to be built, but I made sure to get rush shipping. And it tells me it will be delivered between Nov. 8th and 12th. Seems like forever! I had no hope that my old one was going to live but praise God I'm a freak for backing up my files. I had just backed up things before I left Saturday morning. I have all of my pictures on external hard drives. There are some things that I still need from the old computer, but I have not lost any client's photos....very thankful for that.
The worst part is that I cannot work--literally. We have this little macbook that I got in college that I started editing on when I opened up the business, but it does not have the same quality as my big iMac and does not take the large RAW files that I use now. It fills up way too quickly and doesn't have the space. However, since my pictures are on external hard drives and I have my ordering application on this computer I could still place the orders on Monday as usual. Very thankful for that as well. The part that I'm freaking out about is that I did 16 sessions on Saturday alone and still had 3 before that to edit, as well as the ones that I'm still doing this week. 2 Monday and 4 today. That's 25 sessions total. Holy cow, it sounds even worse when I type it out. If you know me at all, you know that I am obsessive on trying to keep caught up. If you have your pictures done with me, you hardly ever have to wait more than a week to see your proofs. I start working on them immediately. I want my clients to have the best service and get their proofs back to them quickly. So.....stressed out freak out depressed mode has set it immensely here.....
Paula from Rapture Salon and one of the best women in this whole entire world stated it perfectly when she said "You not having a computer is like me trying to work without scissors!" Yes...so true!
Tom from Pro-tech called me on Monday because my uncle Steve had found out my computer crashed. He told me to bring it in and he would see what he could do. My hard drive ended up being corrupt. He was trying to save my data and transfer it and he did! Thank you so much Tom.
Also on Monday I did one of my best friend's since kindergarten's maternity photos! She came up for the weekend from Booneville just to do them and we had been planning it for a long time. Started out great and them it started pouring on us. Luckily enough Bekka is a super awesome person and didn't mind posing in the rain to finish them up. It wasn't even supposed to rain Monday morning. Just my luck though with how the week was starting out....
I also paid bills Monday. I told myself I might as well make it a hugely depressing day..haha. Property tax, a big truck payment and the HUGE chunk I had to fork over for this new computer. Not really what I was expecting all at once...
Tim, also from Pro-tech and is my family's second family and who also does photography told me that I could use his computer to at least transfer files to and try to get them loaded and off of my cards. I had all day Tuesday so I was going to try and do that. I needed to go to town and get another card reader so I could keep transferring on my laptop at home and still do the same on his computer. I was going to need to transfer them to my external so I could still bring them back home to work on them. So....I get all the way to wal-mart Tuesday morning and find that I have forgotten my wallet at home. So, driving without a license AND no money to buy a card reader. Tim comes to save the day and loans me some cash to get me one so I didn't have to drive all the way home. Get to pro-tech and the card reader isn't fitting my card for some reason. Finally figure that out and then try to plug in the external to Tim's PC computer. It doesn't work. Well DUH! My external is formatted to work only on a mac. Of course. So there goes that plan. Just add it to the week of bad luck....
So I went back home to wallow. I was really upset. I have seven cards to upload and they each take 5 hrs. to download and I can only do one at a time. I was feeling extremely hopeless. BUT, I kept getting texts, and facebook posts that really lifted my spirits. I don't know what I'd do without all of your support. THEN, Judy, Tim's wife and part of our family's second family (haha) came all the way to my house and brought me a peppermint mocha from Starbucks! Oh my goodness, it made my day so much. To know someone cares that much and went out of their way means the world to me. Thank you Judy! Just those little notes of encouragement plus a cup of coffee gave me a huge realization that....
Yes, this is a really stressful time for me. One that I hoped would never happen, honestly. But I have to look on the bright side of it. The positives. This is all happening for a reason and if I just open my eyes I can see it. This is not life or death. This is not the end of the world. There are so many worse things going on right now. I've notified a few of the people that have been waiting awhile on their pictures to get edited and they've all been so kind and gracious. It makes me feel so much better to know that! God is giving me rest. I was sick and overwhelmed but yesterday I didn't have the stress to have to get anything done. I got to rest. I got to veg out and I cannot even remember the last time that I've felt like I can do that. Because even if I AM mostly caught up, there's still things I'm doing on the computer for the business. But I literally CAN'T right now. It took this to make me realize I'm not always going to get everything done quickly. I have to trust that God will provide. Yes, I had to pay for a not-so-cheap computer when I had other plans for that money, but God provided it. God is the one in control and with "plans". Not me.
I don't know where you are today or what you're going through. But I have to say if it wasn't for me leaning completely on God right now I would be a mess. It took me a couple of days to realize this, and I'm not going to say that I'm not still stressed/worried about getting it all done when I am back up and running, but I always get it done and it WILL get done. There are so many more important things going on than this. I have gotten to get refreshed and renewed and I'm ready to conquer this editing when I can. I have gotten to spend much needed time with my husband without worrying about all that I have to do. Whatever your worries are today, give them to GOD! Because your worrying isn't going to help anything. It never betters anything and you have no control over it. God's got it under control. Whatever your situation is, look at the bright side of it and the good things that can come from it.
Again, thank you to all of the kind and gracious people that have been lifting my spirits. You truly mean the world to me. I hope that you have a blessed week!
Emily
P.S., the title of this blog is a song. Praise You in this storm by Casting Crowns. Listen to it :)
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