So. I want you to take a look at this picture. What do you see? Looking from the outside, I see one fairly attractive, happy young woman who from a strangers point of view looking in probably thinks this person looks like this every day. Nope. This person is normally in sweats and a t-shirt/hoodie with her hair in a bun and just a dash of make-up, if that. This person looks like she has it all together.
I'm here to be honest with you. This person struggles. This person is me.
I am emotional.
I am full of self-doubt/worth.
I am jealous.
I am anxious.
I take everything to heart.
I am depressed.
Yes, I said it. Depressed. I have struggled with this ugly disease for my entire life. I am so thankful to not have it near as bad as others, whom I feel terrible for. It is an every day mindset to get up every day and know that there is hope and a purpose for that day. It's a constant battle in my head every time I look in the mirror or every time I sit down and see a fat roll hang over my pants. Why am I not better?
I feel like there are some of you right now that are sitting with your mouths wide open because from the outside you see none of this. I put on a pretty good face. And I'm happy to say this year thus far, with the help of my Jesus Calling devotional that I do every morning I have had a better relationship with God than I have in a very long time. I truly do have joy back in my life, even on my darkest days.
Without this relationship with God that I've had over the years, who knows where I'd be. This is something that runs in my family. It's not something anyone asks for, and it's not just a "I'm depressed today" feeling. I've learned so far this year in my devotional that every time I have these negative "I'm not good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, successful enough" thoughts, I have to direct my focus back to HIM. He's the only one that can help me through.
Let me let you in on a little something. You know those people that you just get real sick of seeing selfies of? Those ones who post a new one every day? (I'm mostly talking about girls here). Do you know why they post them? To boost their confidence. Most often these photos are not taken in vain. Now, some people just are vain, haha, but I'm talking about my reasoning, and the reasoning of those who lack self-confidence and worth. When you post a selfie, (I mean, after you take about 15 and choose the best one to filter through instagram until it looks the best it can), do you wait to see how many likes you get? Do you wait until someone says "you look so pretty!"? That photo you saw at the top of this post if I'm being 100% honest is exactly that. I never get to dress up or take the time with my hair and make-up anymore. For the first time in awhile I felt pretty. This is why most people take and post pictures of themselves. They're just looking for a little approval. They're just looking to go back to that selfie that they looked beautiful in and know that on their "not so cute days" they still are beautiful....
Now do you look at selfies a little differently? I see it all the time and I feel like we need to encourage one another. We are all beautiful, whether we get dressed up or not. Sometimes we just need people to encourage us and help us feel valued even when we should know that our worth comes from God. He made us in His image and He doesn't make garbage or ugliness.
Sometimes this is not something that everyone struggles with. There are so many other things that people struggle with. But are we doing a good job with encouraging one another? Look at other people's lives and see what they're good at. My husband is great at helping people. He has such a happy, helpful attitude not only in his job but you should see him at home! Always asking me if I need a blanket, or if I ask him to grab something for me or the baby you will hardly ever hear him complain. He's a pretty selfless guy. My dad is a quiet guy. He avoids crowds and gets bypassed often. Let me tell you that if you needed anything he'd be the first one there. Car problems, mower problems, those things of the sort are his specialty. My grandma Tharp has the gift of encouragement. I have never seen the woman talk negatively. She will always make sure there is peace and love in our family. Those are just a few examples that came straight to my mind instantly. I could write a whole blog about different people because EVERYONE has talents. Some are hidden. Let's encourage.
Now, on top of the negative things I said about the girl in the photo at the beginning, here are some positive ones. I try to let these shine more than the negative ones, but when the devil gets a hold, unfortunately the negative ones shine a bit more often then they should.
I have a big heart.
I have a great listening ear.
I am loyal.
I love to give.
I love with my whole heart.
If you are like me, write some encouraging things about yourself and post them somewhere where you can see them often. Let THOSE be the things that shine. You are worth so much more than you think you are. Don't let mirrors and these negative thoughts control you.
This post may be scattered and some of you may not agree. But this was helpful for myself today just to write this all out. This has been an emotional, overwhelming and stressful week. The devil always likes to make those weeks ten times worse. Don't let him :)
In conclusion, if you are a girl that doesn't feel worthy or beautiful, know that sometimes even the most confident looking "selfies" have the least confident people behind them....
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