Hello friends!
I guess it's been quite awhile since I've written. There's been many times lately where I've wanted to write....I just either thought it wasn't something I should post about, or I just plain haven't been able to find the time. Is there ever enough time? Unfortunately, most of the time the answer is no.
Well, today we had a doctor's appointment! It was just a simple one, no ultrasound or anything. But we did hear the heartbeat again and it's nice and strong! It's amazing how sometimes it just still doesn't feel real that there's a PERSON living inside of my body...and then I hear the heartbeat and you know what I said? "Well, it's still in there, huh?" haha, my doctor responded with "Well something sure is!" It's just crazy, sometimes it doesn't seem real at all! The more I feel him/her move around the more excited it makes me. This journey is just so amazing. We're counting down the days until our next appointment--it's the big one! The gender reveal! Our doctor asked us today if we were cheating. I wasn't sure what she meant but then she explained that some people just get so excited that they'll actually go around this time and pay out of pocket for an ultrasound just to find out the sex because they can't wait. As much as we'd like to know and we can't hardly stand it, counting down the days (as we've known this is our date for quite awhile) is so fun. We will have so much fun that day after the doctor's appointment going on a little shopping spree for our boy or girl. We don't really have anything yet so it will be fun!
Sometimes I feel like people probably get so annoyed seeing baby updates. I never really thought I'd be one that would post much about pregnancy or baby things, but you just don't really know how exciting the whole thing is until it's your turn! I may post more than my fair share I'm sure....but both Justin and I are just so excited about everything going on! It's been amazing to see all of the support and all of the people that have cared.
I've been thinking about so many things lately. Deep thinking. Sometimes that's a good thing, sometimes it can be dangerous. I really thought with pregnancy, my emotions were going to be out of control. They are different, yes. Different in the fact that when I'm mad I'm really MAD. When I'm sad, it's definitely sad. And when I'm happy, I'm just bubbly. In the beginning, I was super emotional. That first trimester sometimes just hits you like a ton a bricks. Someone could look at me wrong and I swore they hated me. I apologize to any of you that crossed my path then. But I've leveled off now and I'm surprising myself. Lately I've just been so happy and positive. I love it. But my emotions haven't leveled off by my own doing. It's all been because of God and what He's teaching me right now.
Last time I wrote about friendship. I was/am seriously struggling with that. Exactly what I wrote about last time. BUT I've decided that I needed to take the extra effort. I know and can tell who is my true friend. I think everyone knows that. But guess what? We can have a lot of other friends. Ones that we keep up with, ones that we can ask how they're doing, etc. I've decided that I can't just sit back and what for people to ask ME how I'M doing. I love it when people take an effort to care about me and what's going on in my life. But guess what? Everyone does. It makes them feel important and shows them that even on a bad day, one person cares. It could be a simple text, call or little message saying "I miss you!" "I love you!" "How are you doing?" "Have a great day!" I've been praying so much about my friendships. Everyone has gone through different friendships throughout the years. It bothers me a lot when I lose a friend. Makes me sick inside. And last time I wrote, up until about a week ago that's what I was feeling. All I could do (which I should've been doing the whole time) was cry out to God. I felt so alone. Like nobody cared. And through that sadness God has been teaching me. Sometimes it's time to let go, and sometimes it's time to latch on. Maybe it's latching onto something new. Maybe you, like me, are afraid of making new friends because of how you've been treated in the past. Maybe you've felt used too. But God kept telling me, "Don't be afraid, I'm bringing you something new." And it's amazing but he HAS! Even within a couple of weeks, God has shown me that there's new friendships to be formed AND old ones that I needed to make the effort with. I needed to start showing people how much I care. I had the opportunity to get together this week with a person I've known for awhile, we had just never gotten together just the two of us. When we got together we talked for HOURS! We just clicked. We're on the same page and it was awesome! I couldn't stop thanking God afterward. Plus, I've made sure to make the effort to try and get together with friends, call them, text them or message them. And it makes ME feel better because I showed them that I love them. I didn't need them to be the first to do it to me. And the more I think about how that used to bother me, the more I see how selfish I was....and am. I'm a work in progress! But more and more, doing things for other people just makes me feel so much better rather than being selfish and unhappy with life and how it wasn't going my way.
Being on that topic also brings up something else I've been thinking of lately. Actions are contagious. SUPER contagious. Have you ever watched people? Do you ever have someone just smile at you for no reason and then it kind of just makes you smile too? Or the opposite. Have you ever just seen a person scowl at everything or treat someone horribly right in front of you? That almost just makes you instantly grouchy too. A few little things I noticed today. At the doctor's office today, they surprised me with a blood test. One that was optional but I decided it would be best for baby if I took it--yay me! It's getting easier. Well, the lady that took my blood was so fast and awesome at it. I was done within a minute and it hardly hurt. I made sure to tell her right after that how amazing she was at her job. Yeah, people probably don't tell her that often. I'm sure tons of people don't like getting their blood taken. When I said that, I just saw her face light up and she made sure to thank me. Also, then we went to Culver's for lunch and as we sat down to wait on our food, I started telling Justin how awesome Culver's is. Have you ever been there? Everyone smiles, they come by and ask how you're doing and how everything is. They have conversations with you...etc. They just instantly put me in a great mood. It made me think of how much better the world would be if everyone was like a Culver's worker. It was just contagious to see. On the other hand, I noticed a girl in the booth in front of us with her mom and her sister. They all looked like they hated the world, but the one girl just looked like she really hated the world. It was sad to me. It made me sad to her that she couldn't smile. Then I noticed an older man sitting in the booth next to us. He was there alone. I don't know about any of you, but it really just breaks my heart when someone is eating alone. I really wanted to ask him to come sit with us, but I wasn't sure if it would be weird. It was just eating at me! We ended up talking to him before he left though, just randomly and he was such a sweet man. Just on his lunch break. He continued to smile and he was just such a happy nice man...
I know that most of that was completely random, but please know that your simple smile or "how are you doing today" could make a huge difference in the way the rest of someone's day will be. Really something I've been thinking about.
On my last little note here, I just wanted to wish my grandparents a very happy FIFTY THIRD wedding anniversary! How amazing is that? My grandma said the greatest thing in her comment on facebook today after someone asked her what her secret was for making it 52 years. This is what she said: Love, forgiveness, commitment, caring, sharing, family....putting God first above all!
Such great advice!
Thanks for reading once again my random thoughts :) Have a lovely week!
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