You see, I'm a true introvert. Any of you that know me dearly know this about me, but maybe if you've just known me through photos, you would never know that. I can still remember the first time I did I photo shoot that someone was paying me for and wasn't just a friend trying to help me get started, I'd say the nerves were so high I could've peed myself.
"What was I thinking? I'm not good enough to do this. Nobody should be paying me for pictures. I'll never be as good as so and so." On and on and on went in my head.
To say through the years I've had my ups and downs would be an understatement. Just ask my poor husband or mother. They've heard it all. They've strapped themselves into my roller coaster car and rode it with me.
I had ZERO clue what the heck I was doing. I knew God had pushed me this way and told me to trust Him with it. But I never thought I'd be brave enough to take the leap.
I've ALWAYS had interest in taking pictures. My grandma used to raise dogs and I'd take the puppies out for "photo shoots" any chance I got. Putting bows in their hair and taking their picture. Fast forward to pre-teen and teenage years and with my cousins and close friends I loved nothing more than to have photo shoots with them. Both being in them and taking them. Looking back at these is so comical.
From there, I had a dream to be on the yearbook staff. I'd look up to those who were in it and think "they are just the coolest people ever". Once I had the opportunity to finally apply, I just knew I wouldn't get in. But I did, ya'll. And it changed my perspective!
I cannot thank Stephanie Somers enough for taking me under her wing and giving me such a passion for design and shooting with a "big" camera. We got to design each yearbook page and write. Both of which I love to do. We shot at events and although events/action shots weren't my thing then and still aren't to this day, it taught me so much. Each year we had a big assignment and it was to take the big camera home for a weekend and shoot action and then print those pictures and put them together on a poster board where they would hang in the hallway. And every year this was a struggle for me. All I wanted to do was take portraits of people. Not animals, not people playing sports. Just people, capturing life and a person's beauty. I should've known then that this would be where my passion lies. I always pushed the envelope with this project and would still shoot people, but I would just do it while they were swinging or jumping. These years of being in yearbook led me to being the editor my senior year. Something again that I wasn't comfortable with. Being a leader. But each of these things led me to where I am now. Mrs. Somers was such an encourager and supporter of my dreams. Even when others would doubt my dream of becoming a professional photographer, she always knew I could. I still give so much of the credit of my success to her.
After high school I attended MACC and met a boy. My current job went from full-time to part-time unexpectedly. The worrier in me started to panic some and decided maybe then was my moment to take the leap of faith and start the business. I did my sisters maternity and newborn photos of her first born prior to September of 2008. Along with a couple of other friends newborn photos in August. I invested in studio equipment of which I had no idea how to run. My theory was the closer the light to the subject the better. HA! In September I did my first senior. My dad's best friends step son. I was more nervous than ever because I knew they were paying me for it and I needed to produce something! I look back at those and do a full on cringe still to this day. But they loved them and they're still on their wall today!
Photography was more than "making a buck" to me. Sure, that part was awesome. People paying me to make pretty things. But I looked at all of these other photographers and my work was SO far off from theirs that I had little hope that I'd ever get to that point. But I pressed on anyway.
I started out as I was still living at home. My parents allowed me to take photos in their basement as a studio and then my dad converted their shed into my studio. Those of you that had pictures done in there KNOW how tiny that was! But I got by! Fast forward to getting married in 2010 and our basement became the studio. We made the most of it and it was the studio for 4 years. Our first little girl was born in 2014 and we then realized that having people stop by the house whenever they wanted wasn't the best for our family. I couldn't separate home life and work. We were then on the hunt for a studio space to rent. We called many places until we stumbled upon where I'm located now. The perfect fit. I have been in this location now since April of 2015! I've tried my best to give it the look that I want my clients to see, but still working around the restraints of being a renter and not being able to change the looks of everything that I'd like to. But I LOVE it here. And its easy for all of my clients to find and has more square footage than our own home! It has been such a blessing to us.
So, as you've probably read by now, I have no professional training in photography. I was and am simply a sponge. And to me that is the best way to learn! I've had a couple of other photographers open enough to teach me and for that I am forever grateful. I've watched so many youtube tutorials for editing and online videos for shooting. It really has just been learning as I go. I still have so much farther that I would like to go! But after these many years I can FINALLY say my work is consistent and I'm proud of it.
I used to not know the word "no". Never when I started did I feel like I'd even need to use it! People want me to take their pictures--YES! After the first few years I started to overbook myself and take every type of picture someone would ask me to. Weddings, yes. Seniors, yes. You want me to photoshop out braces--sure. I never knew the word no and I was definitely afraid to use it in fear that it may make someone unhappy with me. People pleasers please raise yo' hand! ME.
It has only been throughout this past year that I've realized that I am not superhuman and definitely now with two children overbooking myself is just not an option. I want to solely focus on the types of portraits I love shooting and realize that its okay if not everyone is my client. It's okay if someone doesn't like my style and chooses another photographer to fit the style they're looking for. It doesn't mean they don't like ME. And if someone asks me to do something that isn't true to my style and my work, its also okay to say no. I'm learning to stay true to myself.
With this being said, one thing that I decided to do that I kept going back and forth on was the decision to stop doing weddings completely. It was such a tough decision but one that was made best for our family. Planning a year in advance or more when someone would book their wedding made it impossible to plan for having a family. Hence, why I ended up doing a wedding when I was 9 months pregnant and having my first daughter just a few weeks later! Plus, I realized that it just wasn't my passion. The stress level was insane for me. I would start worrying the entire week before the wedding arrived and the day of? Well I would almost always wake up sick to my stomach. My nerves were so high that I'd dream that I was going to miss a moment. And I'd even worry up until the point that I delivered the pictures and the customer was satisfied. I had my fair share of moments of tears from some instances I will keep to myself. Overall it just ended up being not good for my health and once I made the decision to quit them completely it was a huge weight lifted! Some photographers LOVE them and are so gifted in that area! Me? Not so much. And that's okay! I just knew that even if I "knew" someone getting married, saying I'd do their wedding ended up not being fair to all the others that I declined doing--so it was best that I just stopped them altogether.
It was just two years ago that I attended my first newborn workshop and it was the best thing I've ever invested in. They are now my most favorite thing ever to photograph and I am so comfortable with them. I know the ins and out and yes, there's still more I want to learn! But I feel like each time I photograph one just gets even a little bit better! There is definitely such an art to it.
So, as you've probably read by now, I have no professional training in photography. I was and am simply a sponge. And to me that is the best way to learn! I've had a couple of other photographers open enough to teach me and for that I am forever grateful. I've watched so many youtube tutorials for editing and online videos for shooting. It really has just been learning as I go. I still have so much farther that I would like to go! But after these many years I can FINALLY say my work is consistent and I'm proud of it.
I used to not know the word "no". Never when I started did I feel like I'd even need to use it! People want me to take their pictures--YES! After the first few years I started to overbook myself and take every type of picture someone would ask me to. Weddings, yes. Seniors, yes. You want me to photoshop out braces--sure. I never knew the word no and I was definitely afraid to use it in fear that it may make someone unhappy with me. People pleasers please raise yo' hand! ME.
It has only been throughout this past year that I've realized that I am not superhuman and definitely now with two children overbooking myself is just not an option. I want to solely focus on the types of portraits I love shooting and realize that its okay if not everyone is my client. It's okay if someone doesn't like my style and chooses another photographer to fit the style they're looking for. It doesn't mean they don't like ME. And if someone asks me to do something that isn't true to my style and my work, its also okay to say no. I'm learning to stay true to myself.
With this being said, one thing that I decided to do that I kept going back and forth on was the decision to stop doing weddings completely. It was such a tough decision but one that was made best for our family. Planning a year in advance or more when someone would book their wedding made it impossible to plan for having a family. Hence, why I ended up doing a wedding when I was 9 months pregnant and having my first daughter just a few weeks later! Plus, I realized that it just wasn't my passion. The stress level was insane for me. I would start worrying the entire week before the wedding arrived and the day of? Well I would almost always wake up sick to my stomach. My nerves were so high that I'd dream that I was going to miss a moment. And I'd even worry up until the point that I delivered the pictures and the customer was satisfied. I had my fair share of moments of tears from some instances I will keep to myself. Overall it just ended up being not good for my health and once I made the decision to quit them completely it was a huge weight lifted! Some photographers LOVE them and are so gifted in that area! Me? Not so much. And that's okay! I just knew that even if I "knew" someone getting married, saying I'd do their wedding ended up not being fair to all the others that I declined doing--so it was best that I just stopped them altogether.
It was just two years ago that I attended my first newborn workshop and it was the best thing I've ever invested in. They are now my most favorite thing ever to photograph and I am so comfortable with them. I know the ins and out and yes, there's still more I want to learn! But I feel like each time I photograph one just gets even a little bit better! There is definitely such an art to it.
Through the years there have been so many laughs along with so many tears. There's so much more that goes into running a business than just taking pretty pictures. Without the help of my mom for the "business" side of photography, I'm not sure where I'd be! So many taxes and licenses to be legal. My husband has been the biggest support and always followed my dreams with me. Watching the kids on weekends as I work, helping with weddings and proms and mini sessions. We really make a great team when we're able to do it together!
Countless hours are spent away from my family shooting on evenings and weekends as well as editing for hours. There have been many tears and times of frustration as I've dealt with some emails and messages from unhappy people taking every single word to heart and doubting my abilities. So much praying to God to lift me back up and set me back onto the path. My stress level from September-December of each year is so insanely high that my poor husband has to constantly talk me off of some serious ledges--lol!
But on the other hand, so many relationships have been built from clients that I now call friends. I truly don't go anywhere in Kirksville without knowing someone and that is such a fun little blessing to me! Again, still truly an introverted extrovert I am. I come alive in another way when behind the camera, which is truly the opposite of how I am in day-to-day life!
If you're reading and I've had the pleasure of documenting some special moments in your life--thank you. Thank you for helping me get to where I am today. Thank you for loving me and giving me the opportunity to meet you. My greatest goal is to leave an impact for His glory through what I do. If you've been with me for years, please know how much you mean to me. You truly keep me going and learning and continuing to change things up. I've watched some of your children grow up and now are becoming seniors! I can't even believe it.
As I look back I can be nothing but proud. I even took the leap this year and put together t-shirts and I cannot wait for so many to be wearing them around. To me, that's 100% support behind me. Something as simple as getting a shirt. It is because of those supporters that I am where I am.
I'm going to post a couple of pictures from a newborn session when I first started vs. a newborn session now.
Sometimes I look back and cringe. Okay, cringe A LOT! But you guys, if we didn't start somewhere we wouldn't be stepping towards our dreams! Just like weight loss, things don't happen overnight. It takes time, learning, dedication, falling on our face sometimes and getting back up and going again even stronger.
This dream seemed so far out of my reach back when I was 18. I knew where I wanted to go and I can honestly say I'm living out my dream now. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that people would "know" me in this town. Never did I think that I would be able to create an image all my own like the photo on the bottom.
The whole point of this post really is just to reflect back and be grateful for how far I've come. This is not by any of my own strength. Only through God have I made it here. I still have such big dreams for the next 10 years and I'm working towards them now!
Thank you, thank you, thank YOU to all that have been behind me throughout my journey. I am grateful to help provide for my family through doing something that I love. Some may still think this is a hobby but this is my living. I never thought I'd be able to do it full time!
It may take a lot of prayer and coffee to get through each step of the day--but that's okay with me! Here's to the next 10 years!
Countless hours are spent away from my family shooting on evenings and weekends as well as editing for hours. There have been many tears and times of frustration as I've dealt with some emails and messages from unhappy people taking every single word to heart and doubting my abilities. So much praying to God to lift me back up and set me back onto the path. My stress level from September-December of each year is so insanely high that my poor husband has to constantly talk me off of some serious ledges--lol!
But on the other hand, so many relationships have been built from clients that I now call friends. I truly don't go anywhere in Kirksville without knowing someone and that is such a fun little blessing to me! Again, still truly an introverted extrovert I am. I come alive in another way when behind the camera, which is truly the opposite of how I am in day-to-day life!
If you're reading and I've had the pleasure of documenting some special moments in your life--thank you. Thank you for helping me get to where I am today. Thank you for loving me and giving me the opportunity to meet you. My greatest goal is to leave an impact for His glory through what I do. If you've been with me for years, please know how much you mean to me. You truly keep me going and learning and continuing to change things up. I've watched some of your children grow up and now are becoming seniors! I can't even believe it.
As I look back I can be nothing but proud. I even took the leap this year and put together t-shirts and I cannot wait for so many to be wearing them around. To me, that's 100% support behind me. Something as simple as getting a shirt. It is because of those supporters that I am where I am.
I'm going to post a couple of pictures from a newborn session when I first started vs. a newborn session now.
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| 2009 |
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| 2018 |
Sometimes I look back and cringe. Okay, cringe A LOT! But you guys, if we didn't start somewhere we wouldn't be stepping towards our dreams! Just like weight loss, things don't happen overnight. It takes time, learning, dedication, falling on our face sometimes and getting back up and going again even stronger.
This dream seemed so far out of my reach back when I was 18. I knew where I wanted to go and I can honestly say I'm living out my dream now. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that people would "know" me in this town. Never did I think that I would be able to create an image all my own like the photo on the bottom.
The whole point of this post really is just to reflect back and be grateful for how far I've come. This is not by any of my own strength. Only through God have I made it here. I still have such big dreams for the next 10 years and I'm working towards them now!
Thank you, thank you, thank YOU to all that have been behind me throughout my journey. I am grateful to help provide for my family through doing something that I love. Some may still think this is a hobby but this is my living. I never thought I'd be able to do it full time!
It may take a lot of prayer and coffee to get through each step of the day--but that's okay with me! Here's to the next 10 years!
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| Photo cred: April Lange (my sis!) Shirt by: Amie Shahan--Momma's got swag It says "Editing Buddy" |
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