Hey all! Happy Sunday. I have been thinking a lot lately, that's for sure. I have been evaluating my life and examining the places that need to change. I think the place that I've been trying to work on the most within the last month has been my worrying. I am a constant worrier, about anything and everything. I also take everything to heart and am an extremely sensitive person. I've really been praying that God works on this stuff in me and He has been. When I get a negative email or text or just someone or something small that's negative and means nothing, I let it ruin my day and my attitude normally. I let it eat me up. But I have to say that now that I'm focusing on trying to change it and God is working in me on that, I have been MUCH better about letting things just "roll off". I realize that I'm human, I make mistakes just like everyone else. I also realize that as much as I try to me likeable, not everyone likes me, and that's okay. Just in the past couple of weeks, things that would normally eat me up and ruin my day, I just pray to God and let Him take them and move on. I don't like controversy and it's really not worth it over trivial things. "Turn the other cheek" is sometimes what comes to my mind when I want to bite back at the person with something hurtful just as they have hurt me. It doesn't help anything. Just let it roll off, and continue on. Be the bigger person.
I have been doing so well lately with not stressing near as much when I have tons of things on my shoulders or to-do list. I know that it will all get done and that I'm working as fast and as hard as I can. I've been positive about life, smiling more, etc., because I know that God is working in me in this area. But, as you know, Satan hates that. He HATES when we're doing well and when we're happy and likes to hit us where we are the weakest. Just this week I heard that some people were talking negatively about me. I'm not going to say that I instantly let that one roll of. Because it wasn't just one person that I heard was doing it, rather it was two that I was told about in the same day. Now, in my last post I wrote about my self-confidence and how I always think someone is talking negatively about me. Satan knows this and how much I seek approval of others and this hit me where I was weak. My first instinct was to retaliate. To write a nasty facebook post or something so everyone would know I was hurt. This state of mind that I had didn't last long, however, because as soon as I walked out of the door where I had heard these things, I prayed. I prayed for comfort first because I was hurt. It just so happened that I went to trade vehicles with my husband right then and he was able to come out and talk to me. I fell apart in his arms and cried. (I NEVER cry, rarely EVER). This just affected me so much. My husband was so sweet and gentle with me that I felt as though GOD was wrapping His arms around me. I really was okay after that. I just kept telling myself that I can't please everyone. I am trying to be the best person I can be and constantly trying to be a better person in God's eyes every day. I didn't write a nasty post, and I didn't just go spread rumors about these people, either. Instead, I looked at it and immediately saw that Satan was trying to attack me and I wasn't going to have it. He will not steal my joy. This all being said, it all came together today when a guest speaker at our church, Neal Chamberlain, spoke just exactly about where I was at this week. He read from 2 Timothy 2 and as he was reading, here's the very verse that popped off of the pages to me.
"Again I say, don't get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights." 2 Timothy 2:23 NLT
Just from this week, not just the instance I just described about the people talking about me, but even instances from the weeks prior where people have hurt me with words where I could've retaliated and started a stupid, meaningless fight that wouldn't get anyone anywhere except ending up with hurt and anger towards one another, I am SO glad that I just let it go and turned the other cheek and acted as though it didn't bother me. There is no need for dumb fights, or bashing one another. This lead to Neal's next point that WE, as christians are not nice to each other. We are not nice people, and sometimes not accepting of where each of us are at in our lives. He went on to make a very good point about how we are all at different stages of our lives. We all grew up differently and have different backgrounds. We all had instances happen in our lives that make us who we are. Everyone is different. He gave us something to picture in our minds to go along with this. A track team. It takes all different types of runners to make that team. There are sprinters, mid-distance and long distance runners. But we are all on the same path. We just each go about it differently but that doesn't mean that the person who runs longer or the person who runs faster is doing it the right way. We're all running. We need to stay on the path and if one of our teammates is getting weary or tired and needs to sit on the bench, we need to encourage them back on their path and to finish the race. This is the verse he used:
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us." Hebrews 12:1 NLT
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that what I got from this is just encouragement to look more deeply at my life and think more about my actions and words. People are not nice, this world is a cruel world. But I'm trying to turn it around and evaluate myself from it. Am I a nice person? Do I judge others in their walk with the Lord because it's different than mine? Am I constantly encouraging other people? There are always people that are not going to be nice to us, so I'm applying this to my circumstances from the past few weeks and try my best to be nice and look at my life and what I need to change instead of looking at theirs and what I think they need to change and how they've hurt me.
I hope this didn't just sound like a bunch of random thoughts of mine, but it's really what's been on my heart lately. I'm going to continue to have joy and smile because I have a reason to. I'm going to continue and strive to be a better, nicer person. I know that God is working in other people's lives in different ways and times. :)
On a personal note, our garage is coming along FABULOUSLY! I cannot express enough gratitude to my dad and father-in-law for giving up their Saturday and working all day in the heat to get this far on it. My husband, too of course! They did a fantastic job and it's getting really close! We've had a couple of other friends mention too that they will help anytime we need it and I just want to say how much that means with their willingness to help. I am so thankful!
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